You’re Not Overreacting
Do you ever feel like your body reacts to certain situations before you can even make sense of what’s happening? Maybe it’s the way your chest tightens when someone raises their voice, or how you instinctively pull away from certain kinds of touch, even if they’re gentle. You might wonder, “What’s wrong with me? Why do I react like this?”
I want you to know this: you’re not broken, and you’re not overreacting. Your nervous system is simply doing its job. It’s trying to protect you based on what it’s learned from your past experiences.
If you’ve ever been told you’re “too sensitive” or “overdramatic,” it’s easy to internalize the idea that your reactions are a flaw. But they’re not flaws—they’re signals. Your nervous system is a brilliant, complex part of you, designed to keep you safe. Let’s explore why it responds the way it does and how you can work with it to feel more in control of your emotions and reactions.
How Your Nervous System Remembers
Your nervous system is like a highly sensitive alarm system. Its primary goal is survival. It’s scanning your environment 24/7, looking for potential threats. This is great when you’re in real danger—your nervous system kicks in and tells you to fight, flee, or freeze. But what happens when it starts detecting danger where there is none?
Trauma and Your Body’s Memory
Many people think trauma is just emotional, but it’s deeply physical, too. When you experience something distressing or traumatic, your body stores not just the memory of the event, but also the feelings, sensations, and physical responses associated with it. This is why certain sounds, smells, or situations can trigger a flood of anxiety or fear, even if nothing bad is happening in the moment.
For example, if you were yelled at as a child, your body might associate loud voices with danger. So, even as an adult, when someone raises their voice—even if they’re not angry at you—your nervous system goes into high alert. It’s not overreacting; it’s protecting you based on what it learned last time.
Misconceptions About “Overreactions”
It’s common to hear things like:
- “Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”
- “You need to toughen up.”
- “That happened years ago—why are you still affected?”
These comments come from a fundamental misunderstanding of how trauma and the nervous system work. Trauma isn’t something you “get over” because it’s not just a memory in your mind—it’s stored in your body. Your reactions aren’t about the current situation; they’re about the past pain that situation is reminding your nervous system of.
Why Trauma Changes Your Nervous System
When you experience chronic stress or trauma, your nervous system becomes hypervigilant. This means it’s constantly on the lookout for danger, even in safe situations. Here’s how it works:
- Fight Response: You might feel angry or irritable, ready to defend yourself even when there’s no immediate threat.
- Flight Response: You might avoid people, places, or conversations that feel uncomfortable, even if they’re not actually dangerous.
- Freeze Response: You might feel stuck, numb, or paralyzed when faced with certain situations.
These responses aren’t choices—they’re automatic. Your nervous system has learned that these are the best ways to keep you safe, even if they’re no longer helpful in your current life.
How This Shows Up in Everyday Life
Let’s talk about what this might look like for you. Many people notice patterns like:
- Avoiding Conflict: You might stay silent during disagreements because your body associates conflict with danger.
- Overreacting to Criticism: A small piece of feedback might feel like a personal attack, triggering shame or defensiveness.
- Feeling Disconnected: You might have trouble staying present in conversations because your body is on high alert, scanning for threats instead of focusing on the moment.
- Physical Symptoms: Chronic tension, headaches, or digestive issues are common signs of an overactive nervous system.
These responses aren’t random—they’re your nervous system trying to protect you from harm, based on what it learned in the past.
What Healing Looks Like
Here’s the good news: your nervous system is adaptable. Thanks to a concept called neuroplasticity, your brain and body can learn new ways of responding to the world. Healing doesn’t mean erasing the past—it means teaching your nervous system that the present is safe.
Step 1: Understand Your Triggers
Start by noticing what situations or sensations set off your fight, flight, or freeze response. Triggers might include:
- A specific tone of voice.
- Certain smells, like cologne or food.
- Environments that feel chaotic or unpredictable.
Understanding your triggers helps you recognize when your nervous system is reacting to the past instead of the present.
Step 2: Practice Grounding Techniques
Grounding techniques are tools that help your nervous system return to the present moment. Here are a few to try:
- Deep Breathing: Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for six. This tells your body it’s safe.
- Sensory Grounding: Hold something cold, like an ice cube, or focus on the textures around you. Engaging your senses helps calm your nervous system.
- 5-4-3-2-1 Method: Name five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.
Step 3: Reassure Yourself
When your body reacts, remind yourself: “I’m safe. This isn’t the past.” This simple statement can help your brain distinguish between past danger and present safety.
Step 4: Seek Professional Support
Sometimes, the nervous system needs more intensive help to heal. Therapy modalities like somatic experiencing or EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can help reprocess trauma stored in the body.
Why This Approach Works
Your nervous system is designed to adapt. When you practice grounding techniques and expose yourself to safe situations, you’re teaching your brain and body that not every raised voice or unexpected event is dangerous. Over time, these new patterns of safety replace the old patterns of hypervigilance.
If your body feels stuck in overreaction mode, therapy can help you retrain your nervous system and find peace in the present. Reach out today to work with a therapist who understands the connection between trauma and the body. Book a free consultation today.
TL;DR:
Your nervous system reacts based on past trauma, not current danger. Learn to identify triggers, practice grounding, and retrain your body for safety with therapeutic support.
trauma recovery, nervous system healing, fight or flight, grounding techniques, somatic therapy, trauma triggers, hypervigilance, neuroplasticity, emotional regulation, therapy for adults
Want us reach out to you: