Imagine, for a moment, a world where grief doesn’t exist. No sadness after a loss, no tears, no pain. While that might sound ideal at first, let’s reflect on what we would also lose—love, connection, the depth of emotion that makes us human. Grief is not just the absence of something or someone; it’s a reflection of the love and significance that presence held in our lives.
One of the most profound experiences of the human condition is grief. Grief is as personal as a fingerprint. No two people experience it in exactly the same way, yet it is something we all encounter. At the core, we share common emotions—sadness, anger, confusion, and even love—but the way we process and express those emotions is uniquely ours.
Grief is as Personal as a Fingerprint
When I say, “grief is as personal as a fingerprint,” I mean that each person’s grief journey is distinct, shaped by their personality, life experiences, culture, and the nature of the loss. Think about the last time you experienced loss. You might have cried or remained silent. You might have sought company or preferred solitude. That reaction is part of your fingerprint of grief.
However, the uniqueness of our experience does not isolate us. There are shared elements, and in this shared experience, we find connection and comfort. Just as we all have different fingerprints, we also all have hands, and it’s those hands we hold out to one another in times of loss.
The Universal Emotions of Grief
At the heart of grief, no matter how personal, are universal emotions that tie us together as humans. Sadness, of course, is often the first to arise. It can feel overwhelming, suffocating even, as if a weight has settled on your chest that you can’t shake. But sadness is not the only emotion that grief brings.
Anger often follows—anger at the world, at circumstances, at fate. “Why did this happen?” we ask. “How could this happen?” That anger can be misdirected toward ourselves, toward others, or toward life itself. It’s natural. It’s part of the human response to loss.
And then, there’s love. We sometimes forget that grief is love’s shadow. You wouldn’t grieve so deeply if you didn’t love so deeply. Every tear, every sleepless night, every pang of pain is a testament to the connection you had with what was lost. It’s proof that love existed and continues to exist, even in absence.
How We Express Grief Differs, But We All Grieve
Some people mourn in silence, while others are more expressive. There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve. Some cultures and families encourage vocal grieving—loud cries, mourning rituals, even celebrations of life—while others prefer quiet reflection. Both are valid.
Consider how we approach loss in our digital age. Social media has changed the way we grieve, offering a space to publicly express our sadness, honor memories, or connect with others in their grief. But that doesn’t mean everyone chooses to mourn publicly. Some people still find solace in private spaces, in writing a letter to their lost loved one, or in simple daily rituals.
Whether public or private, our individual grief is valid, and it’s vital that we honor our own process without comparing it to anyone else’s.
The Importance of Recognizing Grief’s Complexity
Grief isn’t linear. It’s not a journey from point A to point B, with a neat finish line at the end. It’s more like waves in the ocean—sometimes calm, sometimes turbulent, and sometimes completely overwhelming.
There are models that attempt to outline the stages of grief, such as the famous five stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—but these stages are not prescriptive. You might feel all of them, some of them, or none of them, and not necessarily in any specific order. You might cycle through them repeatedly over time.
The complexity of grief is what makes it so personal, yet so universal. Even as your grief changes shape over time, it remains connected to the shared human experience of loss.
Grief’s Common Threads Connect Us All
Despite our unique journeys, we all share certain common threads in the grieving process. One of these is the feeling of isolation. No matter how much support you have, grief often feels lonely. It can feel as if no one truly understands the depth of your pain.
Yet, when we look closely, we realize that grief connects us. The emotions you’re experiencing—loneliness, sadness, anger—are the same emotions that billions of people have felt throughout history. You are not alone, even when it feels like it.
In many cultures, grief is communal. People gather around the grieving person, offering food, support, prayers, and comfort. This collective grieving isn’t just about providing help; it’s about acknowledging that grief is a universal experience. It’s about saying, “You are not alone in this.”
Grief is Real and Valid, No Matter the Circumstance
One of the most critical messages I want to leave you with today is that your grief is valid. It doesn’t matter what the loss is—whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or even the loss of a dream. Grief doesn’t come with a hierarchy.
All too often, people minimize their own grief. They say, “It wasn’t that bad,” or “Other people have it worse,” as if they’re not entitled to their sadness. But grief is not a competition. Every loss is real, and every emotional response is valid.
We must stop measuring grief against some invisible standard. The only thing that matters is how the loss affected you, how it disrupted your life, and how it’s shaping your present experience.
You Are Not Alone in Your Grief
Perhaps one of the most isolating aspects of grief is the feeling that no one else understands what you’re going through. But the truth is, you’re not alone. Across the world, people are grieving for different reasons, but the emotions are often the same.
Whether you reach out to a friend, a family member, a therapist, or even an online community, talking about your grief can be a powerful way to process it. Sharing your story helps others see that they aren’t alone either. It creates a cycle of empathy, support, and healing.
Moving Forward, Not Moving On
One of the misconceptions about grief is that we must “move on” from it at some point. But grief isn’t something we “get over.” Instead, we move forward with it. We carry it with us as part of our experience, and over time, it becomes less all-consuming, but it never disappears completely.
Moving forward means finding a way to live with your loss, to carry your grief while still finding moments of joy and connection in life. It’s about integrating that loss into your story, not erasing it.
The Collective Human Experience of Grief
Grief reminds us that we are all part of something larger. We are all part of the human experience, and loss is a fundamental part of that. Grieving isn’t something that separates us—it connects us.
At its core, grief is an expression of love. It’s love that doesn’t know where to go, love that has been disrupted by loss. But it’s still love. When we see grief as an extension of love, we can find comfort in the idea that love doesn’t disappear just because someone or something is no longer with us. It lives on, in us, in our memories, and in the connections we continue to make.
The Fingerprint of Grief
I want to remind you that your grief is as personal as a fingerprint, but at the same time, you are not alone. Your grief is part of a collective experience that binds us together as humans. The sadness, anger, love, and longing you feel are emotions that countless others have felt—and will continue to feel.
So when grief feels isolating, remember that there are people who understand. There are shared emotions, shared experiences, and shared stories that connect us all. Honor your grief, take the time you need, and know that it’s okay to feel everything you’re feeling. It’s all part of the human experience.
Grief feels like an isolating experience, but at its heart, it connects us to the human experience. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a dream, the emotions we feel—sadness, anger, love—are universal. If you’re navigating loss, remember, you are not alone. Reach out to Jaci or Shuqueta to learn how we can honor our grief while moving forward in life.
TLDR
Grief is deeply personal, like a fingerprint, yet the emotions we experience—sadness, anger, and love—connect us all in the shared human experience of loss.